Relapse After Rehab: How Jess Got Sober After 17 Trips to Detox and Treatment
- Jul 15
- 9 min read
Jess came out of a blackout to police lights. Her truck was stuck on train tracks, and she had been driving on them, not across them. She doesn't remember how she got there or why. What she does remember is that this happened after rehab. After detox. After an IOP program she completed while secretly drinking.
Relapse after rehab is one of the most misunderstood parts of recovery. It is not proof that treatment failed or that a person is broken. It is often part of how sobriety actually gets built. Jess, a former mental health clinician who worked alongside law enforcement, went in and out of detox and treatment roughly 17 times before she finally got sober on October 10th, 2025.
On this episode of the Sober Motivation podcast, she told host Brad McLeod exactly what kept pulling her back to drinking, and what finally made sobriety stick. If you keep relapsing and you're starting to believe you're doomed, her story is for you.
Why Relapse After Rehab Happens (Even When You Mean It)
Relapse after rehab happens when someone completes detox or treatment but returns to drinking, often because the beliefs, environments, and coping patterns that drove the addiction haven't changed yet. For Jess, the biggest culprit was a single, persistent belief: that she could eventually drink like a normal person.
"Every time I left treatment or detox, I believed I was never gonna drink again, except for the last time I went. I thought I was doomed and I was never gonna get out of it."
She describes sitting on the couch after her first detox, telling herself, "No, I'll be able to drink normally." She had drunk without major consequences for years, so the logic felt airtight. But by then she had built a physical dependency. As she put it, when she had one drink, she wasn't stopping until she landed in detox again.
There were practical failures too. After one treatment stay, she went straight back into an internal affairs interview at work, back to an unhealthy relationship she knew was a trigger, and back to an environment with no real support around her. She had identified the person she needed to remove from her life, and she didn't remove them.
The takeaway: treatment can dry you out and teach you tools, but if you walk back into the same triggers with the same "maybe I can moderate" belief, the odds are stacked against you. Ask yourself honestly: what person, place, or belief followed me home from treatment last time?
When Drinking Sneaks Up: There Is No Warning Sign
Jess wasn't a lifelong heavy drinker. Alcohol barely featured in her college years, even while she juggled a degree, work, stepkids, and a chaotic first marriage. The drinking ramped up after she remarried and relocated to Colorado Springs, isolated from family, married to a man who drank half a fifth to a fifth of liquor a day.
"I just thought that's what everybody did to relax. It wasn't really part of my earlier life, but it just kinda became the norm, and I wasn't concerned about it."
Then it turned. She describes a couple of years of steadily heavier drinking, and then, seemingly out of nowhere, a severe blackout and withdrawal symptoms she couldn't push through. She had a master's degree and a career in mental health, and she had no idea alcohol withdrawal could be dangerous or that physical dependency was building underneath her.
As Brad put it on the episode, people rarely know when the cucumber turned into a pickle. There's no sign on the highway warning you that your tolerance is climbing and your next drink is the one that tips you into dependency.
The takeaway: if you're waiting for a clear signal that your drinking has crossed a line, you may not get one. The escalation is quiet. By the time withdrawal symptoms show up, the line is well behind you. If you already can't imagine an evening without drinking, that is the signal.
Hiding Your Drinking and Living Two Lives
Jess worked as a civilian in law enforcement, interviewing children who were victims of or witnesses to felony-level crimes. All day she was surrounded by police officers and detectives, in a culture she says doesn't talk about substance issues.
So she hid it. Shooters stashed in strange places. Tequila, then whiskey, then bottom-shelf Jim Beam, then 99 Bananas when she wanted higher proof. Six mini bottles that somehow always turned into twelve. When her husband quit drinking out of concern for her, she just got better at hiding it.
"I was completely embarrassed. How did I get here? Why can't I break this? Why am I weak? That's been a big thing. I don't wanna be perceived as weak, so why am I so weak right now?"
This is where shame does its worst work. Everyone around her was onto it, her husband, her parents, her son. Retreating into secrecy felt safer than being seen. But hiding drinking also means hiding from help. She didn't think she was an alcoholic, even while withdrawing in a detox bed.
If this pattern feels familiar, it echoes the story of another guest on the show. She was a high functioning alcoholic who never got a DUI, and her drinking hid in plain sight the same way.
The takeaway: hiding your drinking is not a personality flaw, it's a symptom, and it's one of the clearest signs the problem is real. The double life has a cost, and the bill eventually comes due all at once.
The Bottom: Train Tracks, an Investigation, and a Son Who Became the Parent
In May of her last drinking year, Jess got called into work while so intoxicated she remembers only two ten-second flashes of being there. That triggered an internal affairs investigation. Two weeks after her next detox, she relapsed into a three-or-four-day blackout and came to with police approaching her truck, stuck on the train tracks she had been driving down. She was arrested. The next day she went to the tow yard planning to drive her truck home. It had no tires left. It was totaled.
Blackouts like these had become her norm. Multiple three, four, and five-day blackouts. Waking up in parks. Her teenage son took her keys and wallet, so she walked to the liquor store. One night she couldn't remember her own door code, fell asleep on the porch, and her son called the police because he couldn't wake her. Child Protective Services moved him out of the house.
"He really became the parent, and I became the child in this situation."
Then came suicidal thoughts, two 72-hour mental health holds, and the belief that she had destroyed everything beyond repair. She wants people to understand both truths at once: she takes full responsibility for her choices, and she also simply could not get out of the drinking on willpower alone.
The blackout piece of her story mirrors what another guest described in Blackout Drinking at 45: The Night That Finally Woke Matt Up. When memory loss becomes routine, the danger is no longer hypothetical.
The takeaway: rock bottom is rarely one dramatic moment. For Jess it was an accumulation: the investigation, the arrest, the CPS case, her son's ultimatum. If consequences are stacking up in your life, you don't have to wait for the train tracks.
What Finally Worked: Attempt Number 17, Faith, and Daily Structure
Jess went into her last treatment stay, 37 days at the same facility where she'd previously done 60, convinced she would never beat it. She went because her son told her he wouldn't talk to her anymore if she didn't.
Something shifted inside that stay. For Jess, it was her Christian faith. She had always considered herself a believer, but this time she started reading the Bible daily, praying, and rebuilding her worldview from the ground up. She's clear that this was her path, not a prescription for everyone.
"For me, my faith is why I'm sober. Christ is why I'm sober. And I know for everybody it's something different, but for me, that's what created a change."
The other half was structure. Her treatment program taught six daily disciplines, and she still practices them: up at 5:00 a.m., the gym, prayer, scripture, reflective readings, and a daily sober podcast, which is how she found Sober Motivation in the first place.
"That's, like, 17 times-ish that I went in and out of detox and treatment. And if I woulda gave up on number 16, then I wouldn't be sober today. If I didn't try something different, I wouldn't be sober today. I picked up pieces all along the way."
That last line deserves to be underlined. The attempts that "failed" weren't wasted. Each one left her with a piece she used later. It's the same pattern JB described in Hundreds of Day Ones: How JB Quit Drinking After Years of Failed Attempts. The people who make it out are usually not the ones who got it right the first time. They're the ones who kept going.
The takeaway: if AA works for you, go. If it doesn't, that doesn't mean you're out of options. Jess tried AA, went to five meetings in one day once, and still relapsed. What kept her sober was faith, a recovery-based church, structure, and discipline. Find your lane instead of forcing someone else's.
Life After the Wreckage: Rebuilding Purpose and Repairing With Her Son
Today Jess is a health and wellness coach who has lost 90 pounds herself, and she has submitted her paperwork toward addiction counseling licensure in Colorado. She gives her son full space to bring up anything from the drinking years, without defensiveness, and takes ownership every time.
When she asked him whether he would undo it all if he could, his answer shocked her: he said no, because it made him the man he is today.
The shame still visits. She runs into former coworkers and hears the old labels in her head: the girl who drove on the train tracks, the girl who showed up to work drunk. Her practice now is to pick her head up and keep walking forward, because that's not who she is anymore.
And the small stuff came back. The gratitude that only people who have crawled out of something seem to get.
"When I was drinking, I didn't notice anything. And now I can look at a blade of grass or a tree or the mountains and be like, 'Wow, that's really green.'"
If You Keep Relapsing: What Jess Would Tell You
Distilled from the conversation, here is Jess's hard-won advice for anyone stuck in the relapse cycle:
Don't give up. Try one more time. Her exact closing words on the episode. Attempt 17 is the one that worked.
Build discipline and structure. In her words, addicts thrive in structure. Morning routine, gym, prayer or meditation, daily sober podcast or reading.
Actually remove your triggers. She knew one person in her life was a trigger and kept them around. It cost her another round of relapses.
Find your lane. AA, church, SMART Recovery, an app, a podcast. What matters is what keeps you sober, not what works for someone else.
Take responsibility without drowning in shame. Own the past, talk about it openly, and keep stepping forward.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do people relapse after rehab?
Common reasons include returning to the same triggers, people, and environments, believing they can eventually drink moderately, and leaving treatment without ongoing structure or support. Jess relapsed repeatedly because she kept a triggering relationship in her life and held onto the belief that she could one day drink like a normal person.
How many times does it take to get sober?
There is no fixed number. Jess went through detox and treatment roughly 17 times before sobriety stuck. Research on recovery generally shows that multiple attempts are common and that each attempt can build skills used later. As Jess put it, if she had given up on attempt 16, she wouldn't be sober today.
Can you die from alcohol withdrawal?
Yes. Alcohol is one of the substances whose withdrawal can be fatal, primarily due to seizures. Jess had no idea this was possible, even with a career in mental health, until she experienced withdrawal herself. If you are physically dependent on alcohol, seek medical supervision before stopping, as this is general safety information every drinker should know.
What is a multi-day blackout?
A blackout is memory loss during drinking caused by alcohol disrupting the brain's ability to form new memories. In severe dependency, blackouts can stretch across days. Jess experienced three-to-five-day blackouts during which she drove, was arrested, and went to work with almost no memory of any of it.
What helps you stay sober after treatment?
Jess credits three things: her faith, a structured daily routine built around six disciplines (including morning prayer, exercise, and a daily sober podcast), and a community where she felt welcome, in her case a recovery-based church. The common thread for most people is daily structure plus genuine connection.
You Don't Have to Get It Right the First Time
Jess's story starts with a truck on train tracks and ends with a woman who reads scripture on a treadmill at 5:00 a.m. and coaches other people toward health. In between are 17 attempts, an internal affairs investigation, a CPS case, mental health holds, and a son who refused to give up on her while refusing to enable her.
Relapse after rehab did not disqualify her from recovery. It was the road she took to get there. If you're somewhere in the middle of your own version of this story, borrow her closing words:
"Just whoever's struggling, don't give up. Just try one more time."
If you're ready to try again, listen to Jess's full episode on the Sober Motivation podcast on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube. And if you want daily support, the Sober Motivation app has a two-week free trial with journaling, challenges, and over 60 monthly meetings hosted by people on the same journey. Connection is what helps people. Come find yours.
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