She Drank Mouthwash to Stop the Shakes. Today Her Kids Trust Her Again.
"Just please don't be drunk when I get home."
That's what Anne's 13-year-old daughter said before leaving for a volleyball tournament with another family. Anne woke up that morning determined not to drink. The next morning she had no idea where her daughter was.
If you're a mom reading this late at night, after a glass you promised yourself you wouldn't pour, this story is for you.
Who is Anne?
Anne is a stay-at-home mom of three from Michigan, about 40 miles north of Detroit. She went to five rehabs, was hospitalized at a .47 blood alcohol content, and at the end was drinking mouthwash. She has been sober since January 8, 2019, and shared her story with host Brad McLeod on the Sober Motivation Podcast.
Can a good mom be an alcoholic?
Yes. Alcohol use disorder doesn't care how much you love your kids, how clean your kitchen is, or whether you volunteer at school. Plenty of devoted mothers drink in secret while still showing up for every practice.
Anne baked the Halloween cupcakes. She was the reading mom. She drove her kids to catechism and volleyball and got them home safe.
"I was maintaining it until I wasn't." Anne, Sober Motivation Podcast
Alcohol use disorder is a medical condition where a person can't stop or control their drinking even when it's hurting their health, family, or work. It is progressive, which means it usually gets worse over time, not better.
Why did her drinking get worse at 40?
Nothing happened. No trauma, no loss, no big life change. Her drinking just progressed.
Beer turned into wine. Wine turned into vodka. By the end, her hands shook if she went six hours without a drink. She was drinking in the morning, hiding bottles, and lying about all of it. Her hairdresser asked if she was okay. She went to the eye doctor drunk.
That's the part a lot of moms miss. You don't need a reason for it to get worse. Doing the same thing for 20 years can be the reason.
Why mouthwash?
Her husband and mom had taken her keys and wallet. So she walked to Kroger or CVS and bought mouthwash at the self-checkout. Some mouthwashes contain more than 20% alcohol, and none are made to be swallowed.
If you're at the point of shaking in the morning or drinking things that aren't meant to be drunk, please talk to a doctor before you stop. Alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous, and a medically supervised detox is the safe way through it.
Does alcoholism run in families?
It can. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), genes account for roughly half of a person's risk for alcohol use disorder. About 1 in 10 American children live with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, according to SAMHSA.
Anne's dad was a respected Catholic school principal who had nine years sober through AA. When she was about 12, she smelled alcohol on him for the first time. He relapsed and never got sober again. He died in 1997.
Years later, in meetings, Anne played that card constantly. "Well, my dad's an alcoholic." What she left out was that he'd had nine years sober. Including that meant losing someone to blame.
Genetics load the dice. They don't decide the ending. Anne's own kids now get to watch what recovery looks like up close.
What finally made her stop?
In December 2018, Anne stayed sober so her kids could have a sober Christmas. On January 7, after the kids went back to school, she decided to reward herself.
She came to in Oakland County Jail, facing her second domestic violence charge. She couldn't go home. She could only see her kids under supervision. Her oldest had to pick her up from jail.
Then Child Protective Services came to the kitchen table with a folder about her that was inches thick. The worker told her:
"If you continue to behave this way, I will take all three children."
Anne noticed she said behave, not drink. And something finally clicked. She only behaved that way when she was drinking.
She drove a block from home, pulled over, and broke down. That night she went to an AA meeting and sat next to a former Notre Dame football player named Big Mike. He hugged her and told her she was right where she needed to be.
She also credits her husband's hardest decision: not letting her come home. "It saved my life," she said.
What most moms get wrong about quitting drinking
Thinking sober means boring. Anne was convinced her husband wanted his fun wife back at the tailgate. He never said that. She projected it onto him.
Treating a sober weekend like you earned a drink. Anne would stay sober for an away tournament, then drink alone on Monday as a reward. It took her years to see that being present was the reward.
Believing rehab will fix you. Five rehabs didn't do it. Surrender did. What rehab gave her was community, and that mattered.
Waiting for a bottom like hers. "Your desperation doesn't have to look like mine," Anne said. You can get off the train sooner.
Thinking shame will keep you sober. Replaying every bad moment kept Anne stuck in the cycle. Shame isn't fuel. It's another reason to drink.
What actually works
Tell one person the truth. Anne's first piece of advice is simple: "Just ask for help." Not necessarily rehab or meetings. One honest conversation.
Ask yourself the quiet question. In a still moment, ask: am I being the best version of myself right now? Anne believes if she'd answered honestly years earlier, she would have asked for help sooner.
Do a nightly inventory. Every night since January 8, 2019, Anne has emailed her California recovery friends two things she was powerless over, five things she's grateful for, and two things she did well. Eight years, every single night.
Find other moms. In every rehab, what stuck was the women and their stories. Today, moms come up to her in meetings and say they thought they were the only one CPS came for.
Use medical support. Anne still sees an addiction specialist and tried medications like Antabuse and Vivitrol along the way. Medicine helped. It worked best alongside the rest.
Forgive yourself slowly. Anne got there partly through her dad. Once she'd done the same things he did, she could finally imagine the regret he lived with. Empathy for him opened the door to grace for herself.
Is mommy wine culture making it harder to quit?
It doesn't help. Wine-time signs and "mommy juice" mugs sell alcohol as the way to survive motherhood. Anne's take: motherhood is hard enough, and the hamster wheel makes it harder.
Where am I getting it, how am I hiding it, when can I drink it. "It is absolutely exhausting," she said.
Will my kids forgive me for drinking?
Many kids do, with time, consistency, and honest conversation. It doesn't happen on a schedule, and it isn't the same as pretending it never happened.
When Anne's oldest read her a letter in rehab about what the drinking had done, Anne felt nothing. Today her kids are 25, 22, and 19. They know her sponsor and her AA friends. They trust her again. On a recent family boat day in the islands, she kept reassuring them it was okay to drink in front of her. "I am okay," she said, and she meant it.
She's honest that they aren't entirely healed. But they've come a long way.
"I really look forward to my grandchildren never seeing me drunk." Anne, Sober Motivation Podcast
Same goes for her two golden retrievers, who have only ever known her sober.
You don't need a folder at the kitchen table
Anne doesn't say she's proud of her story. She's proud of the outcome. On January 8, 2027, she'll celebrate eight years sober on the 8th, her golden sobriety birthday.
If you're a mom who's been telling yourself it isn't that bad, you don't have to wait for it to get as bad as hers. Ask for help. Then keep coming back.
Watch Anne's full episode on YouTube: Anne's Story on the Sober Motivation Podcast
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If you're thinking about quitting, just getting started, or years in, the free Sober Motivation app has over 60 peer-hosted calls a month. Nobody has to do this alone.
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