Do You Need a Rock Bottom to Quit Drinking? Robyn Ottolini Didn't
Updated: Oct 8
"I could not work through my shame with drinking. It was never gonna happen. I was always gonna be in that darkness if I didn't stop."
Country singer Robyn Ottolini said that on the Sober Motivation Podcast, a few weeks before her one year sober date. She had a record deal, a viral hit, supportive parents and best friends she lives with. She still had a problem with alcohol.
Her story answers a question plenty of people ask quietly: is my drinking bad enough to quit?
Do you need to hit rock bottom to quit drinking?
No. You don't need a crash, a DUI or a lost job before you're allowed to stop. If alcohol is making you anxious, sad or stuck, that's reason enough. As Robyn put it: "It doesn't all have to be going wrong for it to be going wrong."
A normal start, a normal drinking culture
Robyn grew up on a dead end road in Uxbridge, Ontario. She describes bonfires, manhunt in the woods and The Sims 3. Her family drank the way a lot of Canadian families do. A couple of beers by the pool, nothing dramatic.
She didn't drink much in high school. She didn't call it a problem until her mid 20s.
By then music had taken off. Her song "F-150" blew up during COVID, while she was living at her parents' place, drinking and making TikToks. "What else are you gonna do?" she said.
When "I need a drink" became the default
The shift was quiet. Industry stress went up, her team clashed over ideas, and her answer was the same every time.
"I just always assumed when you're stressed, you can just have a drink, and that's what everyone does."
The next day brought anxiety and sadness. She told herself she was done after every drink. Then someone would say "patio?" and she'd be there.
Her voice gave her the first real warning. An ENT found a callus on her vocal cord. Keep drinking and partying, and surgery was on the table.
Quitting four times
Before opening for Shania Twain on the Queen of Me Tour, Robyn went sober for a month and stayed sober for the whole run. She felt great. Then the tour ended and she went straight back to drinking.
That became the pattern. Sober for every tour, then back to it when the reason was gone.
The fourth time stuck. That summer she'd been spiraling and crying every time she got drunk. Her best friend asked her a simple question: have you tried not drinking?
Her first full day sober was October 6. After the tour she stayed at her parents' house through the holidays to avoid the Nashville party circuit. Her dad, a beer guy, stocked non-alcoholic beer so they could still have one together.
Why months three and four were the hardest
The first two months felt good. Months three and four didn't.
"I would cry every day. I was like, 'I feel everything. This is awful.'"
Without a tour to stay sober for, the feelings she'd been numbing showed up. A lot of people go through this. Feeling great early on is often called the pink cloud. When it fades, whatever you were drinking over is still there, waiting for you.
Robyn's take: "In trying to dim the darkness, I was dimming the joy, too."
Did sobriety kill her creativity?
That was one of her biggest fears. She liked a few vodka sodas in the writing room and worried she'd lose her sparkle.
She didn't. She says she's faster, funnier and sharper now. In her first sober year she recorded an album, released it and shot five music videos in six months.
"Drinking me could never, ever have done that."
What some people get wrong
Thinking you need a bad enough story. Robyn wondered if she even deserved to talk about sobriety. "Am I a good enough alcoholic to talk about being an alcoholic?" Plenty of people stay stuck asking that question.
Thinking you have to commit to forever. "Forever's too long. I can't commit to that," she said. That pressure is part of why her first three attempts didn't last.
Thinking everyone will pressure you. Some people will. Most won't. By six months, Robyn found people were more likely to say "keep going."
Thinking sober means boring. She was worried guys wouldn't date her. Then she met one who thought it was "super dope" that she doesn't drink.
What actually works
Today and tomorrow. Robyn never committed to a year. She committed to today and tomorrow, then did it again.
Grace instead of shame. She treats a slip as something you could start over from, not a failure. Shame keeps you in the spiral.
People who will tell you the truth. When she wants a drink, she texts her best friends. They reply with paragraphs about how much better she's doing.
Getting through the moment. One second of wanting a drink passes. Once it does, you're glad you held on.
Her advice if you're curious
"Just go three months and see what happens."
That's what her friend told her, and it's what she'd tell anyone else. Three months is a small slice of your life. If drinking wasn't the problem, you'll know. If it was, you'll know that too.
"Nobody's ever mad that they got sober, I'll tell you that for free."
You don't have to lose everything first
Robyn had a good life and still had a drinking problem. Both things can be true.
You don't need a rock bottom. You just need to notice that alcohol is costing you more than it gives back.
Hear Robyn's full conversation on the Sober Motivation Podcast, and check out her new album. If you're on day one or thinking about it, you're welcome in the Sober Motivation community.
Connect with Robyn's Music on YouTube.
You don't have to do this alone. The Sober Motivation App has live sober meetings every day, a day counter, and a community that gets it. Download free on iPhone or Android.
Want more stories like this? Listen to the Sober Motivation Podcast.
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